"Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn't a skill… - George Carlin

People are fucking dumb. You can say what you want about this country, and I love this place. I love the freedoms we used to have. I love that. I love it when it didn't take a fucking catastrophe to get us to care for one another. I love the fact that we're on camera all the time from all angles. But you know what, you can say what you want about America, and I say I love this place. I wouldn't have it any other way, wouldn't have it at any other time in history, wouldn't have it in any other place. But- say what you want about America, land of the free, home of the brave, we got some dumbass motherfuckers floating around in this country. Dumbass motherfuckers, you know.

I'm tired of people using their cars as biographical information centers, informing the world of their sad-sack lives and boring interests. Keep that shit to yourself. I don't want to know what college you went to, who you intend to vote for or what your plan is for world peace. I don't care if you visited the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore or the birthplace of Wink Martindale. And I'm not interested in what radio station you listen to or what bands you like. In fact, I'm not interested in you in any way, except to see you in my rearview mirror.

Furthermore, I can do without your profession of faith in God, Allah, Jehova, Yahweh, Peter Cottonail or whoever the fuck it is you've turned your life over to; please keep your superstitions private. I can't tell how happy it would make me to someday drive up to a flaming auto wreck and see smoke curling up around one of those little fish symbols with Jesus written inside it. And as far as I'm concerned you can include the Darwin/fish-with-feet-evolution symbol too. Far too cute for my taste.

So keep the personal and autobiographical messages to yourself. Here's an idea: maybe you could paste them up inside your car, where you can see them and I can't.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.