I learned from my dad that when you walk in front of an audience, they are the kings and queens, and you’re but the jester — and if you don’t think t… - Jerry Lewis

I'm telling you about a child in trouble. If it's pity, we'll get some money. I'm giving you the facts. Pity. You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair; stay in your house.

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

Ollie's projection of emotions like frustration, agitation and shyness was masterful, and so was Stan Laurel's conception of the harried, ineffectual soul.