The secrets of our universe don't discriminate, these secrets can and should be unraveled by all those who wish to embark on that journey, and my aim… - Jessica Esquivel

You learn as you go, and I think the most important thing to remember is that you are not your failures. That was a hard pill for me to swallow and something I'm still working through but the scientific process is built on failing! We have a theory, we test it, and a lot of the times that theory is wrong. That doesn't mean you aren't smart or you shouldn't continue testing other theories! Scientific exploration would come to a screeching halt if at every failed theory a scientist would quit.

Jedidah Isler visited Syracuse, and she reached out to me to have lunch. I wasn't doing well—I had failed my quals—but the fact that this prestigious Black woman physicist reached out to me made an impression. I was embarrassed to go, but her candor and vulnerability about going through these spaces that were not built for us helped me understand that it was not my fault that I didn't fit in. Meeting with her validated my feelings. We discussed impostor syndrome. We discussed finances.

I think there was a lack of understanding around the police killings and how they mentally and emotionally affect Black people. But I think my colleagues are listening and want to learn, and the lab is responsive.