You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at … - Dave Barry

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.

Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.