"A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want. - Frank Zappa

The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it.

I do not belong to your organization. I know nothing about it. I'm not even interested in it – and yet, a request has been made for me to give what purports to be a keynote speech.
Before I go on, let me warn you that I talk dirty, and that I will say things you will neither enjoy nor agree with.
You shouldn't feel threatened though, because I am a mere buffoon, and you are all Serious American Composers.
For those of you who don't know, I am also a composer. I taught myself how to do it by going to the library and listening to records. I started when I was fourteen and I've been doing it for thirty years. I don't like schools. I don't like teachers. I don't like most of the things that you believe in – and if that weren't enough, I earn a living by playing the electric guitar.

After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we're dumb, then God is dumb — and maybe even a little ugly on the side.