When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - P. J. O'Rourke

A steady job is at least as deleterious to the spirit of bachelorhood as a steady date. Some jobs are worse than actual wives.

The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.