Inside the family room, Arthur Herk was methodically, relentlessly changing channels. He was doing this partly because the instinct to change channel… - Dave Barry

Seriously? You won’t help me?”
“Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.

Why don’t you lift the end?” said Alf.
“It’s me back, Alf,” complained Mack. “You know how it troubles me.”
“No more than mine troubles me,” said Alf.
“But I said it first,” said Mack.

We also have a growing population of unwelcome out-of-town wildlife species that have come here and clearly intend to stay. Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming here for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way.