Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for ma… - Jasper Fforde

"We're fine, Joff. You?"
"Not that good, Thurs. The Church of the Global Standard Deity has undergone a split."
"No!" I said with his much surprise and concern in my voice as I could muster.
"I'm afraid so. The new Global Standard Clockwise Deity have broken away due to unresolvable differences over the direction in which the collection plate is passed round."
"Another split? That's the third this week!"
"Fourth," replied Joffy dourly, "and it's only Tuesday. The Standardized pro-Baptist conjoined Methodarian-Lutherian sisters of something-or-other split into two subgroups yesterday. Soon," he added grimly, "there won't be enough ministers to man the splits."

The atmosphere in the room was so thick with dramatic clichés you could have cut it with a knife.

"Write is only the word we use to describe the recording process," replied Snell as we walked along. "The Well of Lost Plots is where we interface the writer's imagination with the characters and plots so that it will make sense in the reader's mind. After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer—perhaps more."