This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. - George Carlin

Life is sacred"? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death! Has been for thousands of years! Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians; all taking turns killing each other because God told 'em it was a good idea. The sword of god, the blood of the lamb, 'vengeance is mine'; millions of dead motherfuckers. Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to The God Question: \"Do you believe in God?\" \"No.\" BAM! Dead. \"Do you believe in God?\" \"Yes.\" \"...Do you believe in my God?\" \"No.\" BAM! Dead. \"My God has a bigger dick than your God!\"

[Responding prematurely to the unfinished question, "Are you trying to change the world or are you trying to...?" and then to the followup query, as to whether Carlin's initial answer was "meant tongue-in-cheek."] [No, I'm] trying] to show how funny it all is. Philosophers have wondered for centuries: Why are we here? And I say, I'm here to see the show. So, let's get busy with these wars. I'm very disappointed in all these peace things that are going on. They're really letting me down. You take ancient hatreds and modern weapons and you got a nice recipe for some entertaining stuff. [...] I'm only being partly facetious. If you scratch any cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist.

I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's nothing wrong with suckin' dicks. Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. I say, Drop the pipe, and go to the dick! That's my advice. I'm here to help.