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"It's highly disorderly," he explained, "not like here. There is no easily definable plot, and you can run yourself ragged wondering what the significance can be of a chance encounter. You'll also find that for the most part there is no shorthand to the narrative, so everything happens in a long and painfully drawn out sequence. Apparently the talk can be confusing—for the most part, people just say the first thing that comes into their heads."
"Is it as bad as they say it is?"
"I've heard it's worse. Here in the BookWorld, we say what needs to be said for the story to proceed. Out there? Well, you can discount at least eighty percent of chat as just meaningless drivel."
"I never thought the percentage was that high."
"In some individuals it can be as high as ninety-two percent. The people to listen to are the ones who don't say very much."
Jasper Fforde (born 11 January 1961) is an English-born Welsh novelist and aviator. He is the author of the popular Thursday Next series, as well as the Nursery Crime books.
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"Look here, St. Zvlkx," said Volescamper as they walked towards the marquee for tea and scones, "what was the thirteenth century like?"
"The Mayor wants to know what the thirteenth century was like—and no lip, sunshine."
"Filthy, damp, disease-ridden and pestilential."
"He said it was like London, Your Grace."
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"It's simply part of wider research on a neural expansifier that increases the synaptic pathways in the brain. Aside from repairing traumatic damage and reversing the effects of dementia, it can potentially make dumb people smart."
"I'm trying hard, but I'm not sure I can think of a more useful invention."