Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies. (Or, for that matter, as true.) - John Hodgman

There had been hoboes in the United States since there had been trains and liquor, which is to say, always.

And parents, some old fashioned kitchen wisdom for dealing with those lice: take your child and cover his hair with mayonnaise and shove him outside because he disgraced your house by bringing lice into it.

Weathermen are the ponchoed buffoons who spend hurricanes outside, buffeted by winds, lashed by rains, struggling to stand erect. A mime's "walking against the wind" routine come horribly to life. Whereas meteorologists - we're the people who sent them out there.