No, I don’t want to seem underhand or insulting but Toccata’s a poisonous, untrustworthy, self-serving little reptile – with a severe personality dis… - Jasper Fforde

"Do I have to talk to insane people?"
"You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory."

"Passing through?"
"Yes; here to meet with Moody."
"You'll get more sense from lichen. What's with your head?"
Unlike talking to The Notable Goodnight, where I needed to be polite, this was an answer I could have fun with.
"It's the final stages of an excruciatingly painful and incurable genital wasting disease. Luckily, it's only spread by skin contact. Sorry, I should've said that before I shook your hand. Remiss of me – apologies."
Shamanic Bob smiled.
"Fair enough," he said. "I think I deserved that."
"Yes, I think you did."

"It doesn't matter if it's true or not," he said, "it's what everyone believes that's important."