I'd operated at full-throttle for thirty-four years to push the goals and objectives of the U.S. Army forward. So to wake up one morning and find my … - Clara Leach Adams-Ender

Looking back on my 34-year Army career, you could really sum it up in two words- caring and serving. I served in defense of the country that I love, and I served people. And I learned a lot by doing both. At the end of the day, I can look back and say that I was a good soldier, a very good troop. And I am fiercely proud of that. The Army provided me an opportunity to be all that I could be, and I think I took full advantage of that opportunity. A famous writer and poet once said that the purpose of life is to count, to have made a difference that you lived at all." I sincerely believe that I contributed and that I made a difference while in the Army. I also believe that I am still making a difference in the lives of others by caring and serving. At the end of the day, that's what life is really all about.

I'd served the military with honor and distinction and felt things had gone well as a resuly. And I missed that. The best analogy I can think of is to suddenly cross the finish line after running a three-decade marathon. A marathon where the competition and the camaraderie have you feeling pumped about participating every day. I loved the Army, and I loved my service in defense of my country. Consequently, the first four days after I retired was a little weepy, as well as exhausted as hell. After waking up at four that first morning, I lounged in bed until nine o'clock the next three days. That may sound funny to some people, but to me nine o'clock was downright decadent! I did stop sleeping late, but was a lost soul for a good month after retirement. The void retirement had carved into my existence was almost similar to the passing of a friend or relative. I grappled with sadness and fond remembrances and even a little self-pity.

There were about 500 folks in the reviewing stands during my retirement parade at Ft. Belvoir. I thought I would experience a rush of powerful emotions and feelings during my last day in the Army, but that wasn't the case. The day was pretty much a blur, to be truthful. One minute I was in the Army, the next minute I wasn't. When my last day finally wound down, following a reception after my retirement parade, I went home and stood in front of a mirror as I took my uniform off one last time. A weary-looking, fifty-four-year-old black woman stared back. "You are retired," I told her. Instead of reacting visibly, she seemed almost indifferent. Hmmpphh! I took my uniform off and hung it up, as I had done thousands of times. Then I went to bed and immediately fell asleep.