It's hardly worth dignifying this man with a response. In any case, all he's been offering for information about my private life is a £50 reward. My … - Piers Morgan

I had more complaints from people who wanted to be in who weren't than from those who were in. Given that there was a lot of score-settling, I was surprised no one took me on, and disappointed actually.

The liberals get what they want, which is a humorless void where nothing happens, where no one dare do anything, or laugh about anything, or behave in any way that doesn't suit their rigid way of leading a life. No thanks.

The Jimmy Savile scandal grows more horrific by the minute [...] I never met him... (Mail on Sunday column October 2012)