Being an American boy is a setup. We train boys to believe that the way to become a man is to objectify and conquer women, value wealth and power abo… - Glennon Doyle

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Being an American boy is a setup. We train boys to believe that the way to become a man is to objectify and conquer women, value wealth and power above all, and suppress any emotions other than competitiveness and rage. Then we are stunned when our boys become exactly what we have trained them to be. Our boys cannot follow our directions, but they are cheating and dying and killing as they try to. Everything that makes a boy human is a "real man's" dirty secret.

Our men are caged, too. The parts of themselves they must hide to fit into those cages are the slices of their humanity that our culture has labeled 'feminine' — traits like mercy, tenderness, softness, quietness, kindness, humility, uncertainty, empathy, connection. We tell them, 'Don't be these things, because these are feminine things to be. Be anything but feminine.'

The problem is that the parts of themselves that our boys have been banished from are not feminine traits; they are human traits.
There is no such thing as a feminine quality, because there is no such thing as masculinity or femininity. 'Femininity' is just a set of human characteristics a culture pours into a bucket and slaps with the label 'feminine.'
Gender is not wild, it's prescribed.