Bill Bailey Quotes

C'est lui, dans la nuit- Docteur Qui</br>Il voyage dans le Tardis. La boite de telephone fantastique d'espace!</br>L'interieur est beaucoup plus grand que l'exterieur</br>Et ça, c'est le mystere de Docteur Qui</br>L'enemie, il s'appele Davros, le capitain des Daleks</br>Il est demi-Dalek et demi-homme- incroyable!</br>Il veut contrôler le monde, toujours contrôler le monde</br>Il se leve le matin, il veut contrôler le monde!</br>Apres le petit-dejeuner, il veut contrôler le monde!</br>Mais il ne contrôle le monde jamais! Ce n'est pas tres realistique</br>Avec les Daleks, le Docteur est superieur.</br>"Exterminez-vous! Exterminez-vous encore! Ah, zut alors! Nous sommes perdus!"</br>Le docteur gagne, il rit 'Ha, ha, ha- j'ai gagné parce que je suis Docteur Qui

Beautiful ladies in danger. Danger all around the world. But I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh!<br/r> Beautiful ladies in emergency situations.<br/r> Beautiful ladies are lovely but sometimes they don't take care
They're too busy with their makeup and combing their lovely hair<br/r>To take basic safety precautions<br/r> But I will protect them I will save the pretty ones<br/r>With their smiles and their beautiful eyes<br/r>But let the ugly ones die<br/r>I have no place for them in my new world order<br/r>I won't waste my seed on hideous trolls<br/r>Kill kill kill kill kill the trolls<br/r> hunt them down there shall be no clemency<br/r>Kill kill kill kill kill the trolls<br/r>Look under the bridges that's where they hide<br/r>That's where they hide<br/r>And beauty shall be my bride.

Where did we all go wrong? The insects used to be our brothers. Along came pesticide And on that day our friendship died And pouring boiling water down ants nests couldn't have helped.

They will take us And they'll make us Human slaves! In an Insect Nation!

The actual quote attributed to Russell is, "Everything is vague to a degree you do not realise till you have tried to make it precise."

I was digging with a fork out of the kitchen drawer, sewing tictacs, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. After a bit I got bored and just started burying cheap spoons to baffle the archaeologists of the future. [On gardening]

James Blunt - a man who recently got voted more annoying than paper cuts.

Or I get my navel fluff out and weave it into wigs so that fleas can act out Victorian melodramas. [On relaxation]

Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Supertramp, but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Supertramp's earlier albums.

It's what we've always known for many years outside of Australia...You can't have a world leader called Kevin. [On Kevin Rudd]

And the thing is, I'm amazed they went with Obama at all, you know, I mean, I thought Hilary would have been a shoo-in, but no. [Shrugs] Apparently America's got an issue with gender, not with race. Huh. So, erm...

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say "work", you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...

Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.