American singer and actress
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I don't think the father figures who let me down are bad people. They were doing the best they could, and sometimes that's just not enough. It's less their fault than it is the circumstances they were in. I can't really blame them for what happened. Now I'm so far away from these issues that it doesn't hurt anymore. In those moments, it was excruciating, but you can't stay in pain too long. You have to let it wash over you and pass, or else it will drown you.
Another thing Tom and I enjoy doing is visiting our small circle of friends, so spending an afternoon in Malibu with David and Yolanda is always a nice little escape. It’s always good to bounce creative ideas off of someone as incredibly talented as David. Even after all of his success in the business, he’s still willing to listen with a fresh set of ears and gives great feedback.
I've had a lot of ups and downs, and listen, to still be putting yourself out there on stage at my age, you come against a lot of stuff. But if you love what you do, no one should let the opinions of others take away their joy or take away their dreams. And that's really all it comes down to. Loving yourself, believing in yourself, putting one foot in front of the other and doing it.
I said you know what, I thought my transformation was that I needed to transform into Erika Jayne, but my true transformation took place when Erika Jayne showed me that Erika Girardi was just fine the whole time. It was just a truer, shinier version of myself. And you can be fluent in both of your personas, both your personalities. We all have them, whether you’re on a reality television show or not, whether you’re 47 years old and you’re out there singing and dancing. You’re not the same person at home as you are at work, or with other people, so there are performance personas whether you acknowledge them or not. And transformation is individual. This is my story, my experiences, doing this stuff. Maybe yours is something different, but they’re equally important.
New York City is such an awesome place with a lot of great artists doing great things at the top level. There was so much going on then and so much going on now. It was really ‘the’ place to go to hone your artistry. I became a member of a couple of girl groups early on and performed at a few clubs around there. But basically, I was doing any job I could just to stay alive. A lot of extra work. I was a starving artist.
So TED Pasadena reached out to me in the spring of last year and asked if I'd be interested in doing a [TED] Talk. I was totally blown away because I would have never thought that would even come across my universe. I said yes, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought that talking about my own life wouldn't be that challenging but it turned out that it was. If anyone gets a chance to do [one] I highly recommend it because it's very challenging. You know, I still haven't watched mine. I still won't watch it.
I think it's something that I had to teach myself because growing up wasn't always a barrel of laughs. I was insecure and I had a lot of self-doubts, which is why I tell myself I can do it and that I earned it. I think you kind of become your own best cheerleader. I mean, obviously, my mom and my grandmother were big cheerleaders of mine, but at the end of the day, you have to be your own cheerleader—every day. Otherwise, it's not going to work out if you don't believe in yourself. I think a lot of it, too, is looking around and saying 'Why not me?' You know, 'Why not me?' I mean, if they can do it I can do it. There's nothing that special about anyone, really.