American singer and actress
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Money doesn't make you confident, material things don't make you confident. Your work ethic makes you confident; your achievements make you confident. It's about setting goals, and it's about whether or not you reach them. I know a lot of people with money who are not happy, who are insecure, who are basically train wrecks.
On their date, my father said to Renee, "Tomorrow I'm going to come by your parents' house, pick you up, and we're going to go hunt for apartments. The three of us will live together and be a little family." It was really romantic at the drive-in, so this was all fabulous. He dropped her off at my grandparents' house. The next day, my mother waited and waited. He never came. He never called. Finally, she called her friend, Janet, who had recently married Nicolas' brother Gabriel. She asked if Janet had seen my father. "Oh honey, he's moved to California. He left this morning," Janet said.
I feel like my marriage came apart because of me, not because of anyone else. I can take responsibility. I knew I was a good mom. I thought I was adult enough to be a wife and a mother, but really I wasn't. Tommy bore the brunt of that. It was this constant pressure and it was hard for both of us to take. We broke up when my son was a little more than 18 months old. I came out of a divorced home. I did what I knew, which was to take my son and leave.
I think it's something that I had to teach myself because growing up wasn't always a barrel of laughs. I was insecure and I had a lot of self-doubts, which is why I tell myself I can do it and that I earned it. I think you kind of become your own best cheerleader. I mean, obviously, my mom and my grandmother were big cheerleaders of mine, but at the end of the day, you have to be your own cheerleader—every day. Otherwise, it's not going to work out if you don't believe in yourself. I think a lot of it, too, is looking around and saying 'Why not me?' You know, 'Why not me?' I mean, if they can do it I can do it. There's nothing that special about anyone, really.
Inside all of us is a boss. You just gotta go find her. That’s the truth. Everyone is capable. Everyone has the ability. A lot of it is timing. A lot of it is right place, right time. A lot of it is not giving up. A lot if it is push, dreams, following those [dreams] through, and tenacity. You can do it. It’s going to be hard. People are going to tell you no. But no matter what your goal is in life, there’s always a way. You just have to look for that way. Sometimes you have to make that way. Sometimes you have to go around people. Sometimes you may have to go through people. But there’s always a way to make it happen.
It's organized chaos. Everything is different. You have a sound check—a very thorough sound check—to make sure that everything is worked out so smoothly and then you're in glam, and then you have a small prayer before you hit the stage and it's it's a lot of fun. That's what it's all about. You want to come together and be thankful for having the privilege of getting to do what you love for work.
Well, fashion is a way to escape and to express your personality and to have fun. I have always liked the idea of fashion and creating personalities with fashion. Let it be over the top or understated or effortless or chic. Or, you know, Erika Jayne with 100 crystals on her face. That’s always been a theme of my life. I’ve always enjoyed costume. I think it's a great part of life, honestly. It's really self-expression.
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I said you know what, I thought my transformation was that I needed to transform into Erika Jayne, but my true transformation took place when Erika Jayne showed me that Erika Girardi was just fine the whole time. It was just a truer, shinier version of myself. And you can be fluent in both of your personas, both your personalities. We all have them, whether you’re on a reality television show or not, whether you’re 47 years old and you’re out there singing and dancing. You’re not the same person at home as you are at work, or with other people, so there are performance personas whether you acknowledge them or not. And transformation is individual. This is my story, my experiences, doing this stuff. Maybe yours is something different, but they’re equally important.