What I felt for you was a combination of respect and affection. There was a closeness I felt through intimate interaction. The affection part is all over with. All that remains is the respect. If I put my arms around you and told you that I missed you, I would be lying. You're alright with me and I wish you well. But you're not me and that makes you one of them and you can only get so close.
American musician
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I have felt the muscle pull away from the bone. For a time I was mislead into thinking that I avenge these acts of harm against me. I realized that by living and growing stronger on a diet of scar tissue, I had something better than revenge. I have the best of your bad situation. I am like the roach, the rock, the mountain. I will not die. I will not break. I will not move. Face it. You’ll go to your grave knowing you never had what it took to stop me.
Why is there so much meaningless, waste of time music out there these days? I'm no snob. I know I'm right about this. You can sell a lot of people a lot of crap but you can't sell it to me. Finding a good band to listen to these days is harder than ever. When one comes along, it's such a surprise when it didn't used to be. It's a surprise I could use a lot more of.
Sometimes I wish I could be like Teflon. I always admired that stuff. Water beads up on it and slides off, nothing sticks. You gotta have a little of that to be able to deal with what's out there. But... Teflon takes a shot and shows the damage. It cannot heal itself. That is our strength: we can heal. We can make ourselves stronger. You can be a bright light in a sea of shit, doesn't matter how big the light is as long as it shines. Get a hold of some of that and don't blow your brains out no matter how good an idea it sounds like at the time. Like when you wake up around three in the morning panicking from an attack from some unseen horror and you want to get out so bad.
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Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain.
My pen knows what to do. I close my eyes and I see this girl who glows. A girl who radiates. When she smiles, she beams. She warms my heart. I open my eyes with a feeling of floating past all the garbage around me. I will emerge unscathed because I will not endeavor to hide myself from whatever is coming. Bring on the worst. I welcome it with open arms.