Throughout my career, Throughout my life, I had always known that I had a calling on my life even when I was doing secular. From a young age, I grew up in church. And both of my parents are pastors and ministers of the gospel. So I was always in the church, but it is not necessarily because I was in church that I had a calling. But then I knew it, and I can’t explain. But during that course when I made a decision to go secular, it was because I didn’t think I could handle the responsibility of being gospel. This is because I was young, and I felt I won’t be able to do it because it was too boring. And I was trying to fit especially being an only child. I felt like if I went gospel, I would be on my own with no friends.
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But during the course of my music career, there was A lot of back and forth, there was a lot of inconsistencies because I was really battling with myself and the calling. It took a lot of grace to finally come to the period of surrender. Even before I surrendered, I went through a lot of depression, addictions and periods of secluding myself. During those periods, I prayed A lot to God. I cried out a lot to God. It went from just leave me alone, God, to do what you want to do. Because I felt that every attack I was having in my music career was because I wasn’t walking in my calling
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It was almost like the Holy Spirit was chastising me for the choice that I was taking. That manifested through sleepless nights...I can't explain the feeling. It was like my spirit was rejecting something. I knew but I was running away from it.
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