Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy, wealthy, and dead.

Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised

In his grief over the loss of a dog, a little boy stands for the first time on tiptoe, peering into the rueful morrow of manhood. After this most inconsolable of sorrows there is nothing life can do to him that he will not be able somehow to bear.

Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.

These are the days of bootleg love.

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance.

For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.

Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street.

I hate women because they always remember where things are.