Mark Twain Quotes

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders.

It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

من لا يريد القراءة ليس بأفضل ممن لا يستطيع القراءة

The first thing a missionary teaches a savage is indecency.

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts? [...] Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.

I think that to one in sympathy with nature, each season, in turn, seems the loveliest.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know it because I have tested it.

There are several “sights” in the Bermudas, of course, but they are easily avoided. This is a great advantage—one cannot have it in Europe.

Within the last quarter of a century, in America, several sects of curers have appeared under various names and have done notable things in the way of healing ailments without the use of medicines. There are the Mind Cure, the Faith Cure, the Prayer Cure, the Mental Science Cure, and the Christian-Science Cure; and apparently they all do their miracles with the same old, powerful instrument—the patient's imagination. Differing names, but no difference in the process. But they do not give that instrument the credit; each sect claims that its way differs from the ways of the others.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.