John Irving Quotes

Being reviewed is being condescended to by your inferiors.

"Anyone can be sentimental about the nativity; any fool can feel like a Christian at Christmas. But Easter is the main event; if you don’t believe in the resurrection, you’re not a believer."
“If you don’t believe in Easter,” Owen Meany said. “Don’t kid yourself — Don’t call yourself a Christian.

This mannerism of what he'd seen of society struck Homer Wells quite forcefully; people, even nice people — because, surely, Wally was nice — would say a host of critical things about someone to whom they would then be perfectly pleasant. At. St. Cloud's, criticism was plainer — and harder, if not impossible, to conceal.

May God watch over your soul, which no man may abuse.

Every American should be forced to live outside the United States for a year or two. Americans should be forced to see how ridiculous they appear to the rest of the world! They should listen to someone else’s version of themselves — to anyone else’s version! Every country knows more about America than Americans know about themselves! And Americans know absolutely nothing about any other country!

The kind of people claiming to be in
communication with God today . . . they are enough to drive a real Christian crazy! And how about these evangelical types, performing miracles for money? Oh, there's big bucks in interpreting the gospel for idiots-or in having idiots interpret the gospel for you

There's nothing as scary as the future.

"You don't sound very well Owen." I pointed out to him. "IF JESUS HAD TO BE BORN ON A DAY LIKE THIS. I DON'T THINK HE'D HAVE LASTED LONG ENOUGH TO BE CRUCIFIED." Owen said.

THAT IS WHERE THIS COUNTRY IS HEADED — IT IS HEADED TOWARD OVERSIMPLIFICATION. YOU WANT TO SEE A PRESIDENT OF THE FUTURE? TURN ON ANY TELEVISION ON ANY SUNDAY MORNING — FIND ONE OF THOSE HOLY ROLLERS: THAT’S HIM, THAT’S THE NEW MISTER PRESIDENT! AND DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE OF ALL THOSE KIDS WHO ARE GOING TO FALL IN THE CRACKS OF THIS GREAT, BIG, SLOPPY SOCIETY OF OURS? I JUST MET HIM; HE’S A TALL, SKINNY, FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY NAMED ‘DICK.’ HE’S PRETTY SCARY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM IS NOT UNLIKE WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE TV EVANGELIST — OUR FUTURE PRESIDENT. WHAT’S WRONG WITH BOTH OF THEM IS THAT THEY’RE SO SURE THEY’RE RIGHT! THAT’S PRETTY SCARY — THE FUTURE, I THINK, IS PRETTY SCARY.” That was when I woke up and saw him pause

It is amazing to me, now, how such wild imaginings and philosophies - inspired by a night charged with frights and calamities - made such perfectly good sense to Owen Meany and me, but good friends are nothing to each other if they are not supportive.

You only grow by coming to the end of something and by beginning something else.

I'll bet every fucking one of your angels is going to be terrifying!

But I often think that so-called glamorous people are just very busy people.

Most men don't mind if another woman watches. It's the women who are watching who don't want to be seen.

"Never trust a man with a lunatic wife in an attic," Richard told me. "And anyone named Heathcliff should make you suspicious."