When old men decided to barter young men for pride and profit, the transaction was called war.

Progress is man’s indifference to the lessons of history.

Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Yes? Well socialism is exactly the reverse.

The factory workers say that it’s impossible to do anything right. If you arrive five minutes early you are a saboteur; if you arrive five minutes late you are betraying socialism; if you arrive on time they say, "Where did you get the watch?"

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.

...But love is like the measles; the later in life it affects you, the more severe the consequences" "Is there anything you can take for it?" "Only wedding vows