Michael Palin Quotes

Tomkinson: What are these? Mother: Shoe trees, dear...

Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people. Cries of “They’re evil, let’s get ‘em” or “The infidels must die” sound frightening, but they're desperately empty of argument and understanding. They're the rallying cries of prejudice, the call to arms of those who find it easier to hate than admit they might be not be right about everything. Armageddon is not around the corner. This is only what the people of violence want us to believe. The complexity and diversity of the world is the hope for the future.

One of the difficult things of so much travelling is to say goodbye.

The use of the word "just" by an Australian means that whatever it is you have to do, it will not be easy, as in "Just pull that sword out of the stone" or "Just split that atom."

I wish them a long and happy life. If it's as long as their wedding, I'm sure they'll be fine.

There are many ways of seeing the world. You can hang upside down from a meteor, volunteer to be the fourth stage of a three-stage rocket, or simply get in a balloon and keep going. But if it's sheer, unadulterated discomfort you're looking for, just stay on land.

With a cry of ‘Land Ahoy!’, Lieutenant Wood confirmed that not only had Erebus and Terror become the first sailing ships to break through the ice-pack, but they were now the first ships to come face-to-face with irrefutable proof that an Antarctic continent existed. Surprisingly, Ross’s first reaction was less than ecstatic. All he could see was that this ‘coastline’ had effectively blocked the way to his most coveted goal, the South Magnetic Pole. Nevertheless he was, like everyone else, humbled and overawed by what he saw as they drew closer to land. ‘We had a most enchanting view of . . . two magnificent ranges of mountains . . . The glaciers that filled their intervening valleys, and which descended from near the mountain summits, projected in many places several miles into the sea . . .The sky was a clear azure blue, with the most brilliant sunshine . . . all that could be desired for giving effect to such a magnificent panorama.’ For Joseph Hooker, it was simply ‘one of the most gorgeous sights I have ever witnessed’. And there was another cause for celebration. Measurements showed that Erebus and Terror had reached latitude 71°14'S, passing Captain Cook’s furthest south. ‘We have now but Weddell’s track to get beyond,’ wrote Captain Ross, referring to the whaling captain’s 74°15'S, a record that had stood since 1823.

Thursday, October 19th After breakfast, round to Ma’s by 9.15. Her Telegraph bears the headline ‘Palin for Prime Minister’ on the arts page.

Die Erebus war nicht zufällig nach dem Gott der Unterwelt benannt, und für die Männer an Bord muss es sich angefühlt haben, als wären sie dort angekommen

Eric and I try to analyse this phenomenon and decide it can only be that the Swedes have no sense of humour of their own and have to import it.

Lots of traffic heading into town. One dirty, smoke-belching van makes me so angry that if I’d been alongside I think I would have had a go at the driver. I’d rather see pollution wardens than parking wardens but I suppose there’s no money in pollution prevention.

"The bitterness of Poor Quality remains long after the sweetness of Low Price is Forgotten."
From "Hemingway Adventure" by Michael Palin.

We may not have a 1984 like George Orwell’s, but if the Tories have their way we will be a very carefully controlled society indeed. All very sad, especially as Labour and the left are muddleheaded and ideologically dogmatic.

In fact I am about to type ‘I do not believe in God’, when the sky goes black as ink, there is a thunderclap and a huge crash of thunder and a downpour of epic proportions. I never do complete the sentence.

Then all the world and his dog either rang or turned up.