Terry Pratchett Quotes

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says 'This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they're an adult simply because they've grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide *everything* for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up !'

Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. This is in fact true. It's called living.

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

As a boy I had a clear image of the Almighty: He had a tail coat and pinstriped trousers, black, slicked-down hair and an aquiline nose. On the whole, I was probably a rather strange child, and I wonder what my life might have been like if I'd met a decent theologian when I was nine.

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.