Stand-up is what I am. - Jerry Seinfeld

But that’s what marriage is. It’s two people. That’s it. Trying to stay together, without saying the words “I hate you.” Which you are not allowed to say. Don’t say that. You can feel it. That’s okay. Just don’t let it come out. Say something else. Anything. Say, “Why is there never any Scotch tape in this god damn house?” “Scotch” is “I.” “Tape” is “hate.” “House” is “you.” But it’s better. It’s better to say, “You know, no normal human being leaves a bathroom floor that wet.

[Seinfeld] gave me everything, and that was always my thought when I was doing it. If I sacrifice every cell of energy that I have doing this, the rest of my life will be pretty good. So I just died on the shield. I went to the point where I thought, If I keep going, I could lose my sanity. That was how far I took it mentally.

The luge is the only sport I've ever seen that you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would be exactly the same. Y'know, if they were just grabbin' people off the street: "Hey! Hey, hey! What is this? I don't want to be in the luge!" Y'know, you put the helmet on 'em, you wouldn't really hear 'em screaming; just: (whoosh) "You're in the luge, buddy!" (panicked screams) World record. Didn't even want to do it! I want to see that event next year: the involuntary luge.