If I only thought in the traditional way Chinese expect young people to think, I would never have dared to write my story. Because American studies d… - Jade Snow Wong

My parents never complimented me; they never even said, "Thank you." If I reported any accomplishment to them, they would say disapprovingly, "If a flower is fragrant, people would naturally know it." Instead, I was constantly reminded to do my best to bring credit to my family and the name of "Wong". A disgraceful deed would downgrade my family, not just myself.

But whether in the majority or the minority, young people will be growing up to find new values and activities different from their parents'. You may find that your meaning in life is so different because of your new experiences; you decide to break from your parents' demands. Each person must make his/her decision between his newly found values and his parents' established formula. Each must carefully strike a balance. Be considerate of your parents, for they nurtured you and think they know best. If you must break from them, do so as gently as you can.

So I always tried my best, but I chose a path different from my parents' Chinese expectations. My parents wanted me to marry a rich and educated man from their ancestral village. Not one of my high school girl classmates went on to college. But marriage was not the satisfying fulfillment that I desired for life. Neither was being famous part of my plan. I just wanted to follow where my passion led me. As long as I was not breaking the law, I was willing to depart from cultural norms in my drive for self-determination.