Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. - Evan Esar

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

An alert copyreader on a newspaper couldn’t believe it when he read a reporter’s account of the theft of 2025 pigs. That’s a lot of pigs, he thought, and called the farmer to check the copy. “Is it true that you lost 2025 pigs?” he asked. “Yeth,” lisped the farmer. “Thanks,” returned the copyreader, and corrected the story to read “two sows and 25 pigs.”

Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.