"When the suicide arrived at the sky, the people there asked him: "Why?" He replied: "Because no one admired me. - Stephen Crane

So it came to pass that as he trudged from the place of blood and wrath his soul changed.

When it occurs to a man that nature does not regard him as important,
and that she feels she would not maim the universe by disposing of him,
he at first wishes to throw bricks at the temple, and he hates deeply
the fact that there are no brick and no temples.

The injured captain, lying in the bow, was at this time buried in that profound dejection and indifference which comes, temporarily at least, to
even the bravest and most enduring when, willy nilly, the firm fails, the army loses, the ship goes down.