Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Get all excited and go to a yawnin… - Steve Martin

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

Hmm. Reports of a monster in the Loch Ness. It baffles the scientists, and it bothers me. I do not need these little mysteries. The unexplainable makes me nervous. I have my home, and everything that comes in the door I understand. I don’t have to worry that the faucet will spit fire. I do not have to worry that the bird will attack the dog. The clock will strike six when it is six and not seven. It is like me; it is my kind of clock.

What would any man do with a soggy girl who can't assert herself, who has a weak voice, and whose main personality component is helplessness?