I never rewatch the great films of my favorite directors because I'm afraid they won't hold up. - John Waters

Nobody likes a bore on a soapbox. Humor is always the best defense and weapon. If you can make an idiot laugh, they’ll at least pause and listen before they do something stupid . . . to you.

If you just broke up with someone, be sad;
if you just ran over somebody drunk driving, feel depressed.
You shouldn't take a pill that makes you feel okay about terrible things.

And yep, here’s yet one more heterosexual man who loves his wife. I’m telling you, it’s a trend! Women I know who are always complaining they can never meet a good straight man — maybe you’re living in the wrong part of the country. Maybe you need to hitchhike. Route 70 West could be the path to a great marriage. Go ahead, stick out your thumb for romance.