Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. - Bill Hicks

[mimics someone complaining about second hand smoke] Good theory. But guess what, if I don't smoke there's going to be secondary bullets coming your way, 'cause I'm that tense.

How many of y'all wondered like I did during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half to death, how many of y'all wondered like I did… Step on the fucking gas, man! They're on foot, you're in a truck … I think I see a way out of this. It's that pedestrian right of way law. "

Everyone is hawking products. That’s like the highest thing you can achieve now, isn’t it? Become some barker. Sinatra hawks beer; he doesn’t have enough money, does he?