the older we get, the more we understand that the women who know and love us - and love us despite what they know about us - are the joists that hold… - Anna Quindlen

Set aside the old traditional notion of female as nurturer and male as leader; set aside, too, the new traditional notion of female as superwoman and male as oppressor. Begin with that most frightening of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am.

This is the hard work of life in the world, to acknowledge within yourself the introvert, the clown, the artist, the homebody, the goofball, the thinker. Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart.

And sometimes you do everything right and something bad just happens. It's as simple, and as scary, as that.

It's only before realities set in that we can treasure our delusions.