The tots both started laughing. On the same day. I'm now obsessed with getting them to do it. Babies laughing is like opium. - Neil Patrick Harris

comin’ straight outta Brentwood, a cadre of young stars who’ve grown up deprived of deprivation trying to transform themselves into street toughs by forming ““gangs”” so devoid of street cred it’s necessary to put the word in two sets of quotes. What kind of criminal activity are they engaged in? Script laundering? Agent smuggling? Film miscasting? Who knows. They think they have a posse when what they really have is a pose.

You will be happy for Doogie, who, after conquering a twenty-year Valium addiction, now spends his days working with Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab, and his nights kicking back in the mansion in Valencia he bought with the proceeds of his successful XXX-rated series, Do Me Now Sir, DP: Volumes 1-35.

"Let that be a lesson, homophobes," you think proudly. "You wanna try to bully me? Prepare to get calmly notified the shit out of."