Some problems were generational; you just had to wait for the relevant elders to die off and be replaced with more progressive types. With luck. - Iain Banks

More than anything else now, though, he wanted to save Darckense. He had seen too many dead, dry eyes, too much air-blackened blood, too much fly-blown flesh, to be able to relate such ghastly truths to the nebulous ideas of honor and tradition that people claimed they were fighting for. Only the well-being of one loved person seemed really worth fighting for now; it was all that seemed real, all that could save his sanity.

No, Geis, it doesn't wear off. Like certain exotic diseases, and unlike love, synchroneurobonding is for life."
Geis lowered his eyes. "You weren't always so cynical about love."
"As they say; ignorance pays.

Mr Taak," he said, sitting back, sounding patient. "I've inspected your profile. You are not stupid. Misguided, idealistic, naive, certainly, but not stupid. You must know how societies work. You must at least have an inkling. They work on force, power and coercion. People don't behave themselves because they are nice. That's the liberal fallacy. People behave themselves because if they don't they will be punished. All this is known. It isn't even debatable. Civilisation after civilisation, society after society, species after species, all show the same pattern. Society is control: control is reward and punishment. Reward is being allowed to partake of the fruits of that society and, as a general but not unbreakable rule, not being punished without cause.