Simple people with less education, sophistication, social ties, and professional obligations seem in general to have somewhat less difficulty in faci… - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Most people’s initial reaction to sad people is to try to cheer them up, to tell them not to look at things so grimly, to look at the bright side of life. This cheering-up reaction is often an expression of that person’s own needs and that person’s own inability to tolerate a long face over an extended period. A mourner should be allowed to experience his sorrow, and he will be grateful for those who can sit with him without telling him not to be sad.

"We live in these paradoxes, the many pushes and pulls. While it is true that our happiness does not depend on the external circumstances, we balance that truth with the reality of this world. We are affected by what happens around us. It would be unrealistic to say to someone experiencing tragedy, "This shouldn't have any effect on you." It will take a toll. At the same time, when we are at our worst, we sometimes find our best. We do overcome tragedies, we do go on to find happiness. The sun does break through the darkness. And in the midst of death, we sometimes find life."

As long as we are moving through life and have not become stuck, we are healing.
We often unknowingly re-create losses in an attempt to work through them, to do them better, to finally heal them. If we've been hurt by loss, we may find ways to protect ourselves against loss: we detach, we deny, we rescue others, we help them with their hurts so we don't have to feel ours, we become so self-sufficient that we will never need anyone.