You'll pardon me for being quick, but at this very moment brownies are coming into their ultimate form. Well, penultimate form, really. Let's not dwe… - Brian Clevinger

LA is a hole where everything good goes to die. Every year I come here, it's like a contest to see how short I can cut the trip for the next year. Eventually I'm just going to run inside, take a picture, and fly home. The next year I'll just rent some time on a satellite and get pics from orbit. But everything is shiny.

Dammit, Skittles bag. How can you call yourself a rainbow of flavors when you're all green? They do this to oppress us, you know. He who controls the Skittle, controls the means of production. They know no one needs that many greens. Even if you like green, you can't like it that much. One day, Skittles, one day soon, there will be a reckoning. To each according to his ability, to each according to his red flavor need.

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me. It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.