Brian Clevinger Quotes

Dammit, Skittles bag. How can you call yourself a rainbow of flavors when you're all green? They do this to oppress us, you know. He who controls the Skittle, controls the means of production. They know no one needs that many greens. Even if you like green, you can't like it that much. One day, Skittles, one day soon, there will be a reckoning. To each according to his ability, to each according to his red flavor need.

LA is a hole where everything good goes to die. Every year I come here, it's like a contest to see how short I can cut the trip for the next year. Eventually I'm just going to run inside, take a picture, and fly home. The next year I'll just rent some time on a satellite and get pics from orbit. But everything is shiny.

Today [July 4] is the day that we, as Americans, celebrate our Independence Day from the aliens who invaded our world, presumably for conquest of some kind. Or that's my understanding at least, as I cannot read.

(referring to people in favor of commercializing the Internet)"I suppose their thinking is that since ideas can be dangerous, there should be limits on which ideas are expressed. Which is only the foundation of fascism. Thanks, government!"

Japan, You're weird. We get it.

I have, quite possibly, the most self-antagonistic brain of our generation. So when I really want to work on something, it goes into overdrive to think of other things that are really bitchin' to distract me. And if I change gears to work on that new shiny thing, it'll think of something even more bitchin' for the original thing or a wholly new project altogether. It's a wonder I manage to dress myself, really.

As you may have noticed, a hurricane didn't kill me yesterday. I will celebrate my continued life with some ice cream this afternoon.

(discussing how long he has been playing a particular game)"I thought it's only been three days. Hard to tell without sunlight."

This is the part where I tell you guys that my first car was a Corvette that I got for, like, half price or something and you all hate me forever.

You'll pardon me for being quick, but at this very moment brownies are coming into their ultimate form. Well, penultimate form, really. Let's not dwell on what happens afterward, or I'll lose my appetite.

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me. It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

X-Men Legends 2, it would be so much easier to enjoy you if your characters would ever shut up.

It occurs to me that I really need a picture of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard driving Optimus Prime through space. I would follow either of them into the gates of hell without question or hesitation.

I'm still not sure what went wrong with the site, so I'll just do what I always do in these situations and assume it was a causality casualty from war with an alternate timeline. Rolling with that assumption on all of life's little problems can give you a terrific perspective on things. Y'know? "Augh, fuck. It's raining!" becomes, "Huh, it's raining," and then with a bemused nod, "Typical 31st century Mega-Etruscan tactic." And then when your friends look at you weird, you can give them a pitying gaze, clutch their heads to your bosom, and lament that they too have been affected by the wars. Something like, "Oh, you poor dear. You've no memory of what never shall be." I don't have many friends anymore. Not since the war took them.

Florida weather is like living with a schizophreniac. Its mood is a fractured thing; it believes in real and unreal circumstances equally; and you're never quite sure if it'll come through with its share of the rent.