Today [July 4] is the day that we, as Americans, celebrate our Independence Day from the aliens who invaded our world, presumably for conquest of som… - Brian Clevinger

As you may have noticed, a hurricane didn't kill me yesterday. I will celebrate my continued life with some ice cream this afternoon.

(discussing how long he has been playing a particular game)"I thought it's only been three days. Hard to tell without sunlight."

Dammit, Skittles bag. How can you call yourself a rainbow of flavors when you're all green? They do this to oppress us, you know. He who controls the Skittle, controls the means of production. They know no one needs that many greens. Even if you like green, you can't like it that much. One day, Skittles, one day soon, there will be a reckoning. To each according to his ability, to each according to his red flavor need.