Andy Weir Quotes

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

As you can see, this plan provides many opportunities for me to die in a fiery explosion.

It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!

Each crewman had their own laptop. So I have six at my disposal. Rather, I had six. I now have five. I thought a laptop would be fine outside. It’s just electronics, right? It’ll keep warm enough to operate in the short term, and it doesn’t need air for anything. It died instantly. The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for “Liquid.” I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.

Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.

My asshole is doing as much to keep me alive as my brain.

It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.

Q. Star Wars or Star Trek? A. Doctor Who.

I can ever prove it was you, I’ll find a way to fire you for it,” Teddy warned. “Sure.” Mitch shrugged. “But if I wasn’t willing to take risks to save lives, I’d…” He thought for a moment. “Well, I guess I’d be you.

Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. — Watney PS: Their sisters, too.

No. You no can die. You are friend.

Not enough,” Annie said. “The press is crawling down my throat for this. And up my ass. Both directions, Venkat! They’re gonna meet in the middle!

You may be wondering what else I do with my free time. I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But also do you, so don't judge.

I’m leaving Mars today, one way or another. About fucking time.

So I'm a single man in my thirties, who lives alone in a small apartment, I don't have any kids, but I like kids a lot. I don't like where this is going...
A teacher! I'm a schoolteacher! I remember it now!
Oh, thank God. I'm a teacher.