How boring does your sex life have to be for a blow job to count as the height of unimaginable depravity - Elton John

Either I was genetically predisposed to losing my rag, or I unconsciously learned by example. Whichever it was, it has proved a catastrophic pain in the arse for me and everyone around me for most of my adult life.

after a long but ultimately fruitful search to find the most boring song in my catalogue. He managed to unearth something completely nondescript that Bernie hadn’t even written the lyrics for, one that we’d earmarked for sale to a middle-of-the-road crooner.

So where to now St. Peter,
If it's true I'm in your hands?
I may not be a Christian,
But I've done all one man can.
I understand I'm on the road
Where all that was is gone.
So where to now St. Peter?
Show me which road I'm on,br>Which road I'm on.