I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their… - Bill Hicks

"Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? "Ow." Might be why he hasn't shown up yet."

They're puttin' music to AIDS germs — putting a drum machine behind them and a metronome beat and Ted Turner's colorizing them, goddamn it. These aren't even really people, man. It's a CIA plot to make you think malls are good. Don't you see?

the problem with this country. Ah, one of them. There are many. But this whole issue of sexuality and pornography, which I don’t understand what pornography is, I really don’t. To me pornography is, you know, spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons. That’s pornographic to me.

Freebird, the mantra of the moron.