But at the end of every show we would realize that true happiness often lies where you very least expect it. It might arrive in a form of a gentle br… - David Sedaris

My sister Amy lives above a deaf girl and has learned quite a bit of sign language. She taught some to me and so now I am able to say, “SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON’T THINK SO.

What are you doing?' Hugh moaned as I stepped out of the dressing room. 'That's three pairs of culottes you'll own now.'
All I could say in my defense was 'Maybe I have a busy life.

And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests — -disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.