The reason for not announcing a new job until it is time to give proper notice of leaving the old one is always that it had not yet become “definite. - Judith Martin

Any attempt to explain that they are undecided, rather than declining, should be brushed aside with the explanation that although you need to plan now, you understand that they are not in a position to accept and you wouldn’t dream of pushing them.

Getting children to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you,’ directly and in writing, is one of the chief tasks of child-rearing. It is a simple matter, requiring about ten years of contant vigilance, but those who give up on it might as well — and generally do — concede failure on the entire enterprise of civilizing their young.

There is nothing to bring people together like a common grievance accompanied by refreshments.