I grew up under the leadership and tutelage of a real man who taught me about respect for the flag, pride in being an American, and expecting only opportunity from this great nation. He was so proud of my brother and me because we chose to serve in the U.S. Army. My sister was married to an Army officer as well, and my dad saw his dreams for his children fulfilled as we all served in some measure. It was important to him for us to carry on with the tradition of military service. I had no choice but to love America and to show that love by serving. If you were a male in the Boykin family and carried the family name, you were expected to serve. Two of my sons followed that tradition and joined the Army. I am so proud of them. The point here is that being a man is not about education level, physical strength, annual salary, or good looks. Rather, it is about character and demonstrated values. I was blessed to be raised by a real man who taught me a great deal about life. A man who set a great example who invested in me with his time and energy. This book is not about Cecil, but I would not be writing it if it weren't for him and the influence he had on my life.

Our son, Humayun, had dreams of being a military lawyer. But he put those dreams aside the day he sacrificed his life to save his fellow soldiers. Hillary Clinton was right when she called my son "the best of America."

For a mother the project of raising a boy is the most fulfilling project she can hope for. She can watch him, as a child, play the games she was not allowed to play; she can invest in him her ideas, aspirations, ambitions, and values—or whatever she has left of them; she can watch her son, who came from her flesh and whose life was sustained by her work and devotion, embody her in the world. So while the project of raising a boy is fraught with ambivalence and leads inevitably to bitterness, it is the only project that allows a woman to be—to be through her son, to live through her son.

Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.

This young man who did this act almost two weeks ago, I say to you, my dear, you are my son. And you will always be my son. I will always pray for you. I'll always wish you nothing but the best.

In the Borderlands, sheepherder, if a man has the raising of a child, that child is his, and none can say different.

What do I want my boy to be?
Oft is the question asked of me,
And oft I ask it of myself -
What corner, niche or post or shelf
In the great hall of life would I
Select for him to occupy?
Statesman or writer, poet, sage
Or toiler for a weekly wage,
Artist or artisan? Oh, what
Is to become his future lot?
For him I do not dare to plan;
I only hope he'll be a man.<p>I leave it free for him to choose
The tools of life which he shall use,
Brush, pen or chisel, lathe or wrench,
The desk of commerce or the bench,
And pray that when he makes his choice
In each day's task he shall rejoice.
I know somewhere there is a need
For him to labor and succeed;
Somewhere, if he be clean and true,
Loyal and honest through and through,
He shall be fit for any clan,
And so I hope he'll be a man.

Look, Sister,You know I want the boy to grow in the Lord.

Coz you're the only boy I know who comes from up above, So take my hand my dear I promise we will never part.

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know Thee and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.

Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, "I have not lived in vain.

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

All these years you have made a boy of him. But with me, he shall be a man

I must be fit for a child's glad greeting,
His are eyes that there is no cheating;
He must behold me in every test,
Not at my worst, but my very best;
He must be proud when my life is done
To have men know that he is my son.

You have given me so many reasons to be proud of the man you have become, but the proudest moment for me is telling others [that] you are my son. Love always, Mom.