You were so beautiful when you wanted to die. When you wanted to live, you became so ugly. - Yukio Mishima

For me, beauty is always retreating from one’s grasp: the only thing I consider important is what existed once, or ought to have existed.

On reflection, falling in love for him was not only extraordinary, but rather comical. By having closely observed Kiyoaki Matsugae, he knew full well what sort of man should fall in love.
Falling in love was a special privilege given to someone whose external, sensuous charm and internal ignorance, disorganization, and lack of cognizance permitted him to form a kind of fantasy about others. It was a rude privilege. Honda was quite aware that since his childhood, he had been the opposite of such a man.

...of all the kinds of decay in this world, decadent purity is the most malignant.