Easy" buttons are the things that appear in front of us that we want to reach for because they temporarily take us out of our pain and stress. They d… - Glennon Doyle

But I would never again be alone in a relationship and pretend that was love. I would never again settle for a relationship or life less beautiful than the one I'd want for my child.

The memos I've written for myself are neither right nor wrong; they are just mine. They're written in sand so that I can revise them whenever I feel, know, imagine a truer, more beautiful idea for myself. I'll be revising them until I take my last breath. I am a human being, meant to be in perpetual becoming. If I am living bravely, my entire life will become a million deaths and rebirths. My goal is not to remain the same but to live in such a way that each day, year, moment, relationship, conversation, and crisis is the material I use to become a truer, more beautiful version of myself. The goal is to surrender, constantly, who I just was in order to become who this next moment calls me to be. I will not hold on to a single existing idea, opinion, identity, story, or relationship that keeps me from emerging new. I cannot hold too tightly to any riverbank. I must let go of the shore in order to travel deeper and see farther. Again and again and then again. Until the final death and rebirth. Right up until then.

Decades after that day in the therapist's office, Donald Trump was elected president. A friend called me and said, "This is the apocalypse. This is the end of our country as we know it." I said, "I hope so. Apocalypse means uncovering. Gotta uncover before you can recover." She said, "Oh, God, not more recovery talk. Not now." "No, listen — this feels to me like we've hit rock bottom! Maybe that means we're finally ready for the steps. Maybe we'll admit that our country has become unmanageable. Maybe we'll take a moral inventory and face our open family secret: that this nation — founded upon 'liberty and justice for all' — was built while murdering, enslaving, raping, and subjugating millions. Maybe we'll admit that liberty and justice for all has always meant liberty for white straight wealthy men. Then maybe we'll gather the entire family at the table — the women and the gay and black and brown folks and those in power — so that we can begin the long, hard work of making amends. I've seen this process heal people and families. Maybe our nation can heal this way, too.