... geography is so unsettled lately. You've got to wait for the late final extra edition of the evening paper to find out if places are still on the… - Lennie Lower

A gentleman should not talk to a lady with his hands in his pockets-unless she's his wife, in which case it's unavoidable.

For your next bath try a can of tomato soup. It gives you that schoolgirl complexion all over. You wouldn't know what a schoolgirl's complexion looks like all over, perhaps, but you can take my word for it.

That's the worst of these New Year resolutions-they get you into so much trouble. I think it is much safer to give some harmless order to yourself, such as resolving not to drink out of horse-troughs on Sunday. But I wasn't satisfied with something simple like that. I made a grand, sweeping gesture and resolved to be a model husband. And the result: The resolution split up the sides the first day.