Lennie Lower Quotes

People frequently ask me where I get all my culture and information from. If you met me and had converse with me for a few minutes you would probably ponder the same question.

That's the worst of these New Year resolutions-they get you into so much trouble. I think it is much safer to give some harmless order to yourself, such as resolving not to drink out of horse-troughs on Sunday. But I wasn't satisfied with something simple like that. I made a grand, sweeping gesture and resolved to be a model husband. And the result: The resolution split up the sides the first day.

After the celebrations we all settled down to a bit of solid mourning. We mourned to such an extent that the police were called in, and you should have seen the empties! The caretaker gets the lot. No wonder he owns a care. I mean a car.

Exercise should be taken in moderation. Here is a good one for reducing the hips: Stand erect with the hands on top of the head, and slowly raise the left leg to the level of the shoulders. Keep it there for five or ten minutes, then gently lower to the ground. Do this ten times with the left leg and ten times with the right leg. Then do it with both legs at once. You will actually feel a difference in your hips almost immediately.

... geography is so unsettled lately. You've got to wait for the late final extra edition of the evening paper to find out if places are still on the map.

Perhaps I'd better explain the game before we go any farther. Chess is played on a black and white board. All the white squares are next to the black squares, and all the black squares are next to the white squares. This is to keep them separate.Then you are given a handful of rooks (not the kind you know) and pawns, and kings, and queens, and bishops, and castles which you spread out on the board indiscriminately. You then go to sleep. The first to wake up moves something on the board, and then it is the other player's turn.

. But then, so is soup.

When eating fruit, such as watermelon, the seeds should be removed from the mouth with the hand and placed in the pocket or handbag. At important functions it is best to swallow them, as it saves mucking about.

Quoits is a good game for the cold months. You just sit in front of the fire and throw the quoits on to the peg. The only trouble is that this is rather a strenuous game. When you've thrown all the quoits on to the peg you've got to get up out of your chair and collect them again. A game for young men, I should say.

I have taken precautions about losing the front door-key. I have it tied around my waist underneath my singlet. It means getting partly undressed each time I want to open the door but it's better than sitting on the door-step all night. Or is it?

I've often wondered how people become dentists. Probably some sadistic urge due to ill-treatment in early youth. If they had been put in a Borstal institute when showing the first signs of mental dentality or dental mentality or, anyhow, becoming jaw-minded, they might have been cured. As it is they are permitted to roam at large and have conventions.

I diet very strenuously myself. First my breakfast, then diet; lunch followed by a fairly light diet in order to prepare for afternoon tea, which should be followed by a fair amount of dieting until dinner time. If the system can stand it, one should fast from then until supper.

For your next bath try a can of tomato soup. It gives you that schoolgirl complexion all over. You wouldn't know what a schoolgirl's complexion looks like all over, perhaps, but you can take my word for it.

Don't be misled by weighing machines. Weighing machines are the most lying things on earth, and should be treated accordingly. When you see "16 st. 10 lb." on the dial, think of the number you first thought of and stick to it. And don't be disheartened if results do not come immediately. Slim women may look slick, but a fat woman stays. Ask any corset manufacturer.

But we were speaking of dentists, I think. I shall have to tread softly here. I am at present having some teeth filled. A boring business.